There is a big difference.
Seeing light reflect from grass and calling that experience ‘green’, differs from ‘green’ being a property of grass.
If grass isn’t green and water is not wet then neither is ‘X’ bad.
‘Bad’ is simply your experience of ‘X’.
Or as any Spiritual Master will tell you:
"It's what you bring to it"
"She is beautiful" really is "my experience of her is one I think of as beautiful". We can all relate to this, as we know beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some people look ‘beautiful’ to others but not to us.
Of course saying “my experience of Jane is one that I label as beautiful.” is ridiculous. So we simply say: “Jane is beautiful.”
The problem is that most people forget this ‘short-hand’ isn’t really what we mean.
And then of course when Jane no longer finds you interesting we say, “she broke my heart.” This is where it pays to be cleaner with your language. “Not being with Jane is something that I find upsetting.” Because ‘finding’ something upsetting is a choice. You are finding or choosing to be upset, and so you can choose to be upset or annoyed or disinterested or happy its over so you can move on. You have that choice.
“Its bad luck”. Superstitious nonsense. There is no good or bad luck… but you can chose to have as much ‘good luck’ as you want! Good and bad are simply labels that you bring to experiences and not properties of the experience.
In short, You are in control of your emotions, even though it may not always seem like it.
The Golden Lining
The real trick is to find the golden lining right away. (a sliver lining doesn’t seems precious enough!)
Training your mind to see the golden lining right from the ‘get go.’ Thats the real trick. And a much better reality tunnel to view the world through.
Your body doesn’t have to experience feelings that you label as: horrendous, horrid, bad, painful or any other ‘negative’ word. In fact you can laugh in the face of adversity. And should!
The feelings you feel are in response to the thoughts you have. choose to have good ones. And why wait! There is no time like NOW.
Now is the time to do, now is the time to take action, now is the time to Find the Golden Lining to the issue. They say you will look back and laugh at it, but as I hear Dr Richard Bandler say often: why wait!
Develop a problem solving, solution orientated quick thinking mind. Start instantly looking for ways to make that 'issue' into a ‘learning experience’, to see it as an opportunity is a great way to set up your thinking. Focus on finding the opportunity in the cloud… because every cloud has a golden lining now!
Re-framing ‘problems’ makes finding the Golden Lining easier.
The word 'Issue' is a different linguistic take on a 'Problem' but my favourite simple re-frame is to call it a ‘Project’. If your 'Problem' is a 'Project' its not a problem right from the get go. It still starts with the letter ‘P’ and its still the same set of circumstances but already its something that you look at differently. Its now a challenge.